A crucial conversation can be described as a discussion between two or more people where the stakes are high, opinions vary and emotions run strong.
We can do one of three things:
- Avoid them.
- Face them and handle them badly.
- Face them and handle them well.
Each option has its own consequence. Even the best intentions become squashed in the face of conflict. Quite often, these interactions are spontaneous so there is no time to prepare. You just have to be ready. Even a planned conversation can go awry.
In the best companies, everyone holds everyone else accountable, regardless of position. The path to high productivity relies on skills for dealing with conversations that relate to certain topics, such as….
- Safety. When someone violates a certain procedure or acts in a way that is unsafe for others.
- Productivity. If an employee under performs, or fails to live up to expectations.
- When someone feels offended, or threatened.
- Quality.
- Every other challenging topic. Innovation, teamwork or change management.
When it comes to risky, controversial and emotional conversations, skilled people find a way to get all information out in the open, even when their ideas are controversial or unpopular.
People who are excellent at dialogue do their best to make it safe for everyone to add their meaning to the shared pool of ideas. As individuals are exposed to more accurate and relevant information, they make better choices. On the other hand, when people purposefully withhold meaning from one another, individually smart people can collectively make poor decisions.
As people sit through an open discussion where ideas are shared, they take part in the free flow of meaning. Eventually they understand why the shared solution is the best and they commit to act.
If people aren’t involved in discussions and take a back seat to challenging conversations, they’re rarely committed to the final decision. Quiet criticism and passive resistance occurs when an idea remains in their head. If others force their ideas into the pool, people have a harder time accepting the information. Without full engagement, ideas can be sabotaged.
The more time you spend establishing a shared pool of meaning, the greater the commitment from participants. We have to develop the tools that make it safe for us to discuss these issues and when we do, our lives change for the better.
If you would like to become better at managing crucial conversations, contact us on +61 2 9661 5667 or info@leadershipnouveau.com.au